Thursday 30 August 2012


This 7 year saga is actually a story of foreign sabotage by local endlessly yelping activist NGOs in league with their paymaster,Edward Clay,ex Johnny Brit high commissioner and well known Kenyan media mediocrity,whose practitioners can't comprehend basic national security needs
Firstly the price of 4.2 bn shs for a brand new 85 m corvette was considered a bargain when the ink was signed and still compares well with other ship builders prices. Though,such matters are secretive and subject to geopolitics and special arrangements here's a reliable source giving some idea of the price range of a 500-2000 ton corvette :
The Another 2010 estimate of the market for corvettes over the ten years 2010-2020 pegged the value at up to $4.5 billion based on an average vessel unit price of around $215 million

These are 2 gunboats the Shupavu and Shujaa:

 Kenya ,also is fast expanding its regional footprint and needs more capable craft than the 6 or so 56 meter gunboats in its navy. The intent was to serve as a oceanographic survey vessel as originally described to pave the way for 1 or 2 inshore subs,likely Pakistani or Indian. Ideally,if the KNS Jasiri had arrived in 2005 as expected another similar vessel would have been arriving and within 5 years E.Africa would see its first underwater warship. The delay has thrown the purchase plan behind schedule though the plan for sub acquisition hasn't been and will not be shelved.
Of course,our 'development partners,'couldn't countenance a situation in which there is the barest hint of the possibility of potential  independent military action by capable independent minded 3rd worlders,(look at the snide remarks when Operation linda nchi kicked off) so the Navy expansion program threw them into overdrive with familiar patterns of active sabotage and media complicity. Though Kenya pales behind major arms purchasers,such actions lose the standard suppliers,the Brits influence,in their eyes almost as important as cold hard cash.
The story indirectly reveals the necessity of starting serious local ship building and weapons system manufacture. At this juncture,we've the human resource to licence build. The Nigerians have begun with a small 100 foot brown water inshore craft seen here;
while the Vietnamese have theirs.
Hopefully,someone on the brass is thinking along these lines to prevent being held hostage to the usual foreign interests


The ruthless sleight of hand of our world (mis)leaders knows no bounds;truly mortal minds are scarcely capable of comprehending their infernal shenanigans. It appears there are now an impossible series of coincidences and incredible forensic evidence suggesting the Aurora shooting had no real victims!
I believe that a drill took place at the theater, and inconvenient people the government wanted eliminated were murdered elsewhere and blamed on the bat man shooting.
One of the 'victims' amazingly survived another mass shooting in Toronto the previous month!Supposedly Jessica Redfield, a budding media presense, was in Toronto during a mass shooting there in a mall only a month before being "killed" in another "mass shooting".
Whoever wrote the Aurora script messed up bigtime. Interestingly,the alleged shooter Holmes' dad is testifying against the banksters in the LIBOR scandal. People ,like I said earlier,this is all an elaborate stage managed psyop.
Read part 1 here:;postID=5842733881818161152

Wednesday 29 August 2012


Americans,IME have always had a childlike faith in the essential good of man. Complex issues of every stripe are reducible to a  simple duality of good and evil. Maybe,its a holdover from their Puritan past but its often touching for example when grown educated exposed American men  honestly believe Afghans will throw down their AKs 'free' their, women hug the Anglojewish invader and work hand in hand for a better tomorrow.
Even Rush Limbaugh has commented on this American idiosyncrasy albeit in a decidely lefthanded manner saying, "Americans need to understand life isn't always fair." The most reliable and amusing aspect of this simplemindedness is seen in their presidential politics,particularly in the stage managed choreography of the gladiatorial race for the White House. After all this time it still hasn't occurred to the majority that all the pontificating talking heads,manipulated opinion polls,Red state/blue state bs,artificially created hot button issues eg, reproductive 'rights,'gun rights,Iran etc. etc.,live political debates  and caucasuses are just filler to legitimise a well-scripted theater in which the winner has already been chosen by the nations real owners.
 Call them what you will,Freemasons,Illuminati,the CFR,Bilderbergers,even if they're the ASPCA,it doesn't matter! They have set the agenda and their man in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue knows the agenda-and what will happen if he steps out of line. In fact,possibly the last real president was McKinley,assassinated in 1902,and the identity of his killer and conspirators strongly suggests where the real power lies til today.
He refused Jewish NY bankster instructions to allow them print money at interest preferring to rely on the gold standard. The shooter was a Jew,Leon Czolgosz referred to by the mainstream media as a E.European anarchist. Without getting lost in the minutiae of the conspiracy,his VP,Teddy Roosevelt,scion of a multimillionaire NY Jewish business family took over setting the template for powerless presidents secretly controlled by Jewish interests,instigating wars,genocides,modern serfdom and national resource grabs at their behest-a practice which continues to this day.Its no surprise social scientists call the last century the 'American century,'while more honest observers refer to the Jewish century.
The last occupant of the White House to attempt a stand against the ruthless faceless puppeteers was JFK and we all know how that ended. So when I hear heated analysis and expert writeups about Barack,the Bath House Boy's chances for relection,excuse me for stifling a yawn.
 President Obama and his chief of staff Rahm Emanuel are lifetime members of the same gay bath house in uptown Chicago, according to informed sources in Chicago’s gay community, as well as veteran political sources in the city.
What I find mildly amusing are the wild eyed Right wing conspiracy  theories involving the Kenya government,the Rothschilds and possibly the Vatican in Obama's secret parentage. Apparently everyone but Martians and the Yakuza are involved in the plot to place their own Manchurian candidate in the White House.
For what its worth I was in school,St. Mary's Westlands, Nairobi with his younger step brother,Mark Okoth Obama. He was 4 or 5 years ahead of me. His mum,Ruth Ndesanjo,nee Niedesand taught at Madari Kindergarden and I think still does.

See any resemblance?

He'll win if his handlers want him to.I've not seen any indicators otherwise. What does it matter anyway when the Powers That Be,could manufacture a leader out of a Riley Freeman to do their bidding if they were so inclined?

Tuesday 28 August 2012


Ever since the country now known as Kenya was first brutally ushered into Anglosaxon modernity at the end of the 19th century,the Kikuyu,whose homeland encompasses Mt.Kenya and the outlying highlands have been at the forefront of national sociopolitical developments;a fact many have commented upon.
One of the most brutal colonisers Captain Richard Henry Meinertzhagen (1878-1967) of the Kings African Rifle mentioned this Kikuyu rebellious spirit when he said during his departure from Kenya: "I am sorry to leave the Kikuyu. They are the most intelligent of the African tribes I have met; therefore, they will be the most progressive under European guidance and will be more susceptible to subversion activities. They will be one of the first tribes to demand freedom from European influence and in the end cause a lot of trouble."
Its therefore no surprise,this same highly experienced colonial officer,the archtype of the brutally efficient loyal servant of the Queen,(who would definitely have faced ICC charges if it existed then,by his own self confessed actions) spoke of a secret Kikuyu army called "Maw Maw," in 1950, 2 years before the outbreak of hostilities.
Other Kenyans,envy and hate Kikuyus,and freely admit to it. When pushed for explanations,theories of political advantage,exclusionism and a latent superiority complex are often heard-but one wonders really? Here is a neutral non Kenyan observer:They have a desire for knowledge and it is believed that all children should receive a full education. They have a terrific reputation for money management and it is common for them to have many enterprises at one time. The Kikuyu have also been active politically.
 During the PEV,there was an obvious schadenfreude from unaffected parties as they watched TV footage of suddenly impoverished Kikuyus shepherded to safety by army units in the Rift Valley. Very quickly,too quickly,these envious people parroted the line of the attackers repeating cant about "historic land injustices/dispossession of land and blatant electoral disenfranchisement."
Like all mantras,this is emotionally appealing and serves no purpose in meeting reality. In the considered opinion of many,Kikuyus have simply been way ahead of the curve from the beginning. Here is something I recently stumbled across that supports that contention and also invalidates the standard mainstream canard that Africa had no script. This is gicandi-indigenous Kikuyu writing.
They are from Scoresby Routledge, 'With a prehistoric people.' IDK if they're classified as ideogram or pictographs but the translation of the script reveals normal day to day activities which makes clear it was common enough for daily usage and also suggests it was widely understood. However even by then 1910 ,it was dying out and few could decipher the signs.
Other writers have remarked on this writing but these are the only images I could find. Apparently it may have been a degeneration of a true phonetic script-a story for another day but exemplifies how these people have always been in the forefront of everything.
Those investigating this national Kikuyu preeminence would,in my view do well to thoroughly research the origins of gicandi,no easy task,since even the old have forgotten it,but it would perhaps reveal the mental software processes that led to this situation.

Friday 24 August 2012


I've just watched his 'black in Latin America' series;while there was some interesting  info such as Cuban and Mexican independence leaders were part black and Haiti ruled neighbouring Dominica for over 20 years after expelling the French and how the latter enslaved them with billions of odious debt which is largely responsible for their present predicament he carefully avoids breaking new ground.
He totally avoids the issue of the true race of the unmistakably African Olmecs,overlooks the matter of black Spanish (descendants of the Moors)who settled the New World and never mentions linguistic connections with ancient American and W.African languages.

The second clue to the Manding origin of the Olmec writing was provided by Leo Wiener in Africa and the Discovery of America (1922,v.3). Wiener presented evidence that the High Civilizations of Mexico (Maya and Aztecs) had acquired many of the cultural and religious traditions of the Malinke-Bambara (Manding people) of West Africa. In volume 3, of Africa and the Discovery of America, Wiener discussed the analogy between the glyphs on the Tuxtla statuette and the Manding glyphs

engraved on rocks in Mandeland.
Instead,while his 3 hour long specials are definitely fact filled and easy to watch the series reveals yet more from the catalogue of victimology;slavery,racism and marginalisation for the umpteenth time which IMO shouldn't be the case. Is that the only function of blacks? Perpetual victims,slaves,rebels and criminally exploited underclass?
With the wealth of easily accessible historical detail available to a world renowned historical researcher of his type and his own abilities he could have settled the above issues killing the controversy once and for all.
All in all,it was disappointing and should be reserved for the younger audience but only with a Conscious Blackman in attendance to correct the all too familiar tales of woe and add necessary historical balance.

Is America in Terminal Decline?

The twin housing and banking crisis in 2008 sparked off hitherto unseen consequences which are still to be understood. For the first time ever in America the middle class faced problems that were previously reserve of the true poor-homelessness and hunger while drastically shrinking urban budgets led to near 3rd world situations.
In LA,inner city schools reported shortages of everything from textbooks to chalk,widespread use of cars as temporary homes encouraged by a statewide night 'safe parking' program in churches and  homes now worth as little as 20% of precrisis value.
Each evening, 150 people in 113 vehicles spend the night in 23 parking lots in Santa Barbara. The lots are part of Safe Parking, a program that offers overnight permits to people living in their vehicles

Since the crash figures have been massaged and outright faked to provide at least the illusion of much-needed growth. Its not working. Now,there are hundreds of Kiberas all over the US;tent cities full of formerly middle class office workers surviving on friends,assistance programs and the grace of God.

This is the brutal face of the new economy revealing the new realities:from Sacramento,to Reno,Milwaukee and even Honolulu,informal or semi formal (depending on local authority permission) tent cities are now normal.

The following are 40 facts about poverty in America that will blow your mind....
#1 In the United States today, somewhere around 100 million Americans are considered to be either "poor" or "near poor".
#2 It is being projected that when the final numbers come out later this year that the U.S. poverty rate will be the highest that it has been in almost 50 years.
#3 Approximately 57 percent of all children in the United States are living in homes that are either considered to be either "low income" or impoverished.
#4 Today, one out of every four workers in the United States brings home wages that are at or below the poverty level.
This deepening socioeconomic malaise explains  a new phenomenon;why many Africans are finally returning. Kenyans,Ethiopians,Nigerians and Ugandans are coming back in droves meeting local human resource needs often supplanting foreign expats. One returnee from California frankly said,"the way things are I don't see America existing in another 20 years."
The old political economic models have been tried and abandoned. Outsourcing,resource wars,regional domination worldwide and the support of national leaders as Washington proxy no longer work-or could it be that particular paradigm led to this current disastrous abyss?
Possibly,likely even,but one thing is certain;the old America,beacon of hope,symbol of freedom and economic advancement may very well be gone forever.

Saturday 18 August 2012


is a creature of our new world cultural paradigm. She is poor malnourished,discriminated against,vaginally castrated and walks to school uphill-both ways all the while heroically struggling against the weight of  prevailing patriarchical domination.
That's what the media bombards us with. Which African female on the BBC/CNN/SKY  isn't an IDP,at the very least. Those of us who live here and are clear eyed just go-"HAHAAAHA!," whenever we hear these new cultural memes.
Like any other human she is no angel,and is often a major direct or indirect instigator of much of our infamous bloodletting. Case in point Rwanda. The Tutsi have always had a cultural practice,'ginyera;'which refers to the forgiveness of a woman committing taboos,in this case adultery with a Tutsi man while married to a Hutu. This is a long running secret strategy to increase their numbers. A journalist buddy of mine tried to highlight the issue with documented cases but made no headway going against the grain of mainstream journalism 'innocent African womanhood.' Even now,such a story would get no play.
In Kenya is a unique male circumcision ritual which to my knowledge exists nowhere else.
This is done by Kikuyus,Kalenjins and Maasaais and research reveals its purely for the woman's added pleasure. The agony can't be expressed in words. Its possible to faint,scream or laugh-the pain is so bad it overwhelms brain chemistry,and as you can see the initiate is taking it the required way-unflinchingly.
 "Photographs of Samburu and Maasai youths, and early ones of Kikuyu warriors, show a sometimes quite large roll of foreskin hanging in the ' tassel' position below the glans, and often this displaced foreskin appears not to have been shortened at the tip. Koenig (1956, p.88) describes it as ' a lower, shovel-like projection ... which, so it is said, increases the sexual lust in both the man and the woman' . In his book The Kilimanjaro Expedition, H.H. Johnson describes the result as ' a soft round swelling lying under the glans and giving the penis the appearance of having a double end: among the Maasai it is enormous and is openly displayed.'

The description by Bryk (1934, p.65) of the Maasai and Kikuyu is that they are ' only half circumcised, the lower part of the foreskin not being cut away at all, but hanging atrophied for the rest of the owner' s life. The Kikuyu has two members, say neighbouring tribes."
Also in Africa is the common practice of clitolabial elongation,particularly prevalent in bantu Africa, the DRC,Malawi,Zambia and Tanzania as far as S.Africa. However,thanks to the deafening ululations about FGM the world has never heard of this ancient rite  practiced wherever there are Africans as far as Polynesia.
It was discovered millenia ago,easily orgasmic women were happier with themselves and so its theorised clitolabial elongation began. Fyi,powerful squirting  climaxes are all but guaranteed. I'm going to risk a photo of the finished product off the net:
Who,if anyone is the victim?


Thursday 16 August 2012


From Sunday school,simple minds are indoctrinated into the prevailing Christian thought:
Blond blue eyed Jesus was brought to Earth to atone for our sins and all the people mentioned,the Israelites,Canaanites,Jebusites,Assyrians et al were equally white,like Noah seen here.
Or Abraham about to show his loyalty in the most dramatic way.
After a while of constant exposure to such misleading images it takes a conscious effort to first unlearn old information and then learn real truths. Once the real race of the Ancient Egyptians is learned everything falls into place and the kindergarten programming shatters. An American biblical researcher,Alice Linsley,with 30+ years of work has located the original homeland of Abraham's ancestors. These guys spread out to the whole world via waterways from Africa beginning 8000 years ago to the Middle East and Asia as far as Cambodia. In a lifetime of study she shows how  linguistic evidence,kinship patterns,mt dna studies and modern archeology bears this out.
In fact,Noah's Ark,(which btw,has never been found in Armenia,claimed by accepted biblical scholars to be its resting place) is most likely near present day L.Chad,according to her. Apparently,the Sahara was wet at the time and this was the true land of Noah-Bornu.
Read it all here-only if you're ready to learn new things: 

Tuesday 14 August 2012


Someone sent me this  fb page for a laugh and instead I found it depressing.
 Here are hundreds of deluded Kenyan females who think publicly  kissing another female will magically morph them into the lesbian Hollywod hotties whose career depends on the validation of such arrested development.

It seems many women have fallen for the endless deluge of American advertising that glamorizes lesbianism;well what's new ,especially for such a thoroughly colonised country like ours which is acculturated to imitate AngloJewish mores in every way?
Now,I generally keep away from such people-sharing personal space with such is unnecessary if one wishes to live a calm life and accomplish meaningful endeavours but from sporadic observations I have noted some defining characteristics. They love to be the centre of attention and in their antics give off an unmistakable; "Ohh,look-at-me-kissing-another-girl! Aren't I HOT?!," attention hoism.  Look at those fb photos. Apart from professionally shot photos (mis)using American models,only 2 or 3 of the Kenyans can be described as supuus.

A deeper analysis of the body language shows that its not lust,however perverted leading them astray but rather a conscious decision to flout normalcy. Yes,there is a deliberate desire to contravene universal decency,maybe dad didn't pay enough attention when they were young or there is another reason for anger against society but it shines through in much of the photography. The smiles are as forced as the stiff frozen poses.
Simply put,lesbianism attracts women with tendencies of attention seeking. Society in turn ,or rather American tvland provides a gloss of realism to these same agendas. Think of the myriad talk shows and 'experts' attacking Normal Human People who disagree with this behaviour with arguments straight out of the World Book of False Arguments.
If females want to choke on each others fur let them-just not within my eyesight or shouting distance. But then that would take away all their fun.

Friday 10 August 2012

The trouble with Kenya can be seen in these 2 videos

Currently am visiting a friend in Nyahururu on my way to Nakuru. Its almost 10 years since I drove past Gilgil. Olkalou,Wanjohi and the smaller trader centres like Miharati have all been connected to the electricity grid-a positive development by any means. I was pleasantly surprised by Nyahururu. Its a big town on a par with Naivasha. Its prosperous with many dairy farmers enjoying improved incomes.
If only everything was so simple! Looking at the main throughfare which runs 2 kilometers through the town I couldn't help but wonder:
-who is responsible for the water situation? to be fair I'm assured water availability isn't an issue,quality and heavy rains necessitate washing out of the supply tanks;after which the water looks like this
Is it the county council or the wanainchi who vote them in? What do you think?
 By the way the council has never explained either situation nor have the people ever demanded answers.

Wednesday 8 August 2012


The Ewoton shooting in what appears to be a murder suicide just after 2 separate mass shootings in America got me thinking-about the right to bear arms,legitimate self defence and the sheer evil of the misruling global elite.
I should admit that as a libertarian I accept the need for reasonable men of sound men to be armed-why not? Yes,I'm well aware people aren't always as well adjusted as they should be but a firearm while not  a security blanket is the only way to adequately defend oneself from the uglies of this world,of whom,alas! there are not few.
I should know:the following is a true tale of terror one night 17 years ago in deep Kiambu. All was quiet as could be at 100 am,till the sound of breaking glass woke me up. Ten crudely armed thugs were staging a home invasion. I was empty handed apart from ideas about the sanctity of property and laughable hopes that numerous neighbouring cousins could come to the rescue.
That night I learned in such situations you are your own saviour. In the theatre of the real ,human decency and the norms of society are followed only by those who have tacitly agreed to do so;when confronted by those outlaws scorning said laws such as those committing violence against your person or property,only a gun can help. Trust me;in such moments your feelings on whether or not to shoot,or the alienating effects  of endemic poverty on youth are utterly unimportant bullshit best left to sociology or ethics class.
Which is why knowing our realities I'm all for a fair firearms licensing system in Kenya. Of course on the surface,the applicant simply gives reasons as to why he needs a gun and the arbitrary god at the Central Firearms Bureau,usually a Senior Deputy Commissioner of Police evaluates your application and says ye or nay.If only things were so simple.I've seen senior retired cops/a fish dealer who was carjacked 9 times in a row/and  sons of murdered crime victims denied. Btw,there is neither explanation nor appeal.
I had hoped the new constitution would address this crucial right but the Special Interest Groups and NGOs made it all about pleasing their donors and narrow constituencies and the matter wasn't raised.IMO,its the most telling indictment of our colonial sociolegal legacy. Tellingly ,Tanzania and Uganda are much more relaxed in this regard requiring only the applicant be of sound mind and good standing. Neither country was a settler colony like Kenya and this perhaps explains their more realistic licensing approach.
The notion of political elite unease with a legally armed citizenry is the root cause of the recent US mass shootings ,if researchers are to be believed.Both the Sikh temple and Colorado movie massacre shared many patterns with  similar incidents as far away as Australia. Credible eyewitness reports speak of multiple shooters;there are indications of trance like mindcontrolled murderers who've undergone extensive brainwashing and the sheer logistic difficulty of their actions defies lone gunman theories.
Videotaped speaking with the Associated Press, the eyewitness stated (at the 0:10 mark) that “Between ten and ten-thirty, four white males who were dressed darkly, dressed in all black clothing, came in and opened fire on our congregation.”
Interestingly,both gunmen were heavily involved in skullspace software programming,so to speak,with Holmes a graduate neuroscientist and the Sikh  temple slayer Wade Michael Page an experienced Army psywarrior. Take a look at any mass killing anywhere in the world and these patterns emerge-connect  the dots,people!
The UN,which is actually the transnational elites watchdog has always wanted to restrict and ultimately ban outright possession of all privately held guns. The UNs real 'owners' thus sponsor and instigate outrages to turn the public against the idea of privately held firearms-yes they are that ruthless. These mass killings are all a massive psyops to condition all of us to accept their collective diktats of a globally disarmed citizenry ,all the better for them as fear of retribution for their endless crimes against humanity and instigation of endless wars will go unpunished.
Let me finish with the fate of an NGO warrior,whose name escapes me. An ex KAF colonel his raison detre was the disarmament of ALL KENYANS,including the 10,000 or so legal arms holders.A funny thing happened on the way home from work-carjackers added him to the statistic of murdered defenceless Kenyans 2 years ago.

Tuesday 7 August 2012


The other day I heard myself say: "Nigga,never call/flash or S.M.S this number again,"before blocking and permanently deleting the caller's number. Which is a surprise since:
(a) everyone always says what a nice guy I am
(b) this was a buddy I'd known for over 30 years 
Some background. I was 8 when I first met Tee. We hit it off almost instantly as unthinkingly as 8 and 9 year olds do everything. A month after we had moved into Kile we were friends,or so I thought as we did all the normal kid stuff in the pre professional social media hoism of today.
His family moved away in 83 to Magiwa. We continued to meet whenever possible habituated to friendship,which I later learned isn't the same thing as true friendship. Btw,those of you who remember the Nyayo era will know it was much simpler-there was only VOK which came on at 4 ending at 12,you could drink and smoke anywhere and women knew their role unlike  now when every delusional Kenyan woman thinks she's a combination of beauty queen and kung fu philosopher warrior monk. The main issue then was political but we were teenagers so it was all good.
The first serious test,actually the eye opener into the true nature of our friendship occurred  in early 91. I'd harakishad this chick he'd introduced me to a few hours earlier and had her blouse off. It was a weekday at his parents in Magiwa. I signalled him to give me room.He entered the kitchen and came back offering the chilee some tea! I had been about to start diny- err,cough! cough! getting busy on the living room sofa,WTF!! I told him plainly to give us space. He did-for 5 minutes. This time I physically threw him out and locked the door;somehow he found his way back in like the world's number one cockblocking cat burglar.
By now the chilee was convinced we were planning joint assault. The bra and blouse came back on and I ended up escorting her home,with a pair of the bluest 18 year balls seen to date in E and C Africa. Later,Tee tried to flip the shit on me insisting:" she wasn't giving you any.!" This wasn't an episode of kawaida competition but straight cockblocking of the foulest kind. There and then the sun should have risen and I'd have been well within my male rights to have stepped on his dick but no-'we were still buddies',lolll!
2 years later a similar incident happened that would've changed anyone else's mind. In this case he bragged about it to pals he wasn't even half as tight with as the 2 of us were. A little older and wiser this time I mentally reviewed things and noticed:
-our friendship consisted of me buying the drinks
-Tee swallowing the drinks
-all the while proclaiming "we're niggas for life"
I recalled in the early 80s how I discovered he was stealing my bike every Sunday I was dragged off to shags with the folks. I'd find it on flat tyres like clockwork-I actually thought maybe crows or rabid hornbills were pecking the tyres flat! When I confronted him he blamed another neighbourhood kid.
Ahh,but the easy familiarity of fake palsiness won out.
Years passed. Inevitably we saw less of each other. By the mid 90s I was in shags while he was in a slum outside Limuru town. We did the same things only less frequently often going months without meeting. Older now, I realised I'd outgrown him,but just didn't feel the need to tell him. By the mobile era,around 2000 we'd meet maybe only once or twice a year.
Even then he still had the same tabias I now recognise as bitchassness. He never called but flashed. When the beer (which I nearly always paid for)was on the table he really never had anything to say;just extremely uninteresting vignettes of the river of frustration at work being the shamba boy/dere/errand boy for a French NGO.
I can describe the mental sea change that led to the awakening. 7 years ago I was ruined;cousins destroyed an agricultural project I'd worked on for 3 years flat leaving me broke and in debt. These were guys almost as close as Tee. People I trusted and genuinely liked. Brutally I was forced to accept their smiles were fake,they wished me ill and would even physically harm me if possible. Finally I saw gratitude,honesty and appreciation were like reading Vietnamese literature for farm animals  to these ingrates.
Painfully, I grew up-and saw things clearly;the sudden  shifts and silences in conversation whenever I was in their presence,the numerous innuendo and underhanded references I took to be their own private jokes became understood. Like clouds hiding the sun the truth dawned on me with operatic effect;if the situation weren't so serious I'd have laughed with  joy of the discovery: these 2 cousins who ruined me hated me and they hated the fact they had to be subtle about it. They wanted ,no needed me to taste the unhappiness of their own lives through failure.
Which brought me back to Tee. As stated we'd grown apart but I finally recognised the same patterns in his behaviour,the unsubtle assholia,aimlessness,malice,pretend buddy and ingratitude were staring me in the face. Thus it was, I said "nigga,never call/flash or sms this number again."
I'm not Uncle Phil,some may say I was suffering displaced anger and projected it unfairly to which I'll say take a glass of STFU! We all learn;not all those closest are our friends. Often they're not merely jealous but actively and secretly hostile and must be dealt with swiftly-cut them loose!